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Post by Blue on Jun 29, 2008 17:47:40 GMT -5
I have a question. A very simple question really.
Have you ever been dead?
this question is easy, because if you know what i mean, Then you answer is yes.
If you find it confusing, Then ponder no more. For you will never... Truly understand, Until you've been dead too.
When you've become dead to the world, Only then Only then will you understand Our pain. The kind of pain, The only kind of pain, That never fades.
Only then, Only then will you feel, The Darkness, The very same Darkness That consumes, Your Heart. That chokes you That smothers out, The flame of your existence.
So there it is, My question. Well? Can you answer? Can you answer my question? It's simple really.
Do you know how it really feels, To be dead?
((NOTE: this isnt the right format, but this site wont let me do it.))
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Post by ilovehermore on Jun 29, 2008 18:59:41 GMT -5
I really like this poem, as I have told you before. It's very well written and it certainly makes you think. I really, really like it and I think you did a very good job on it.
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Post by Noka on Jun 29, 2008 20:53:35 GMT -5
Oooo I remember this one! I still really love this poem. I can relate to this and you captured the feeling of being 'dead' perfectly.
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Post by Rose's Thorn on Jun 29, 2008 22:35:32 GMT -5
Leaving the reader with a question, having them think about it for a while afterward, thinking, "Have I?"
Nice use of repetition, and a very good use of a full circle ending, bringing it back to the original question after that lengthy and thought-provoking interlude.
The beginning sort of starts out with a, "What the hell? No, I'm pretty sure I'm alive," response, but gives the question an entirely new meaning at the end when the exact same question is repeated.
I'm going way too deeply into something that you didn't even think about quite that fully, aren't I?
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Post by chezo on Jun 30, 2008 13:36:16 GMT -5
*reads poems in english*
"OH! wait there's a back!"
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Post by chezo on Jun 30, 2008 13:37:16 GMT -5
Leaving the reader with a question, having them think about it for a while afterward, thinking, "Have I?" Nice use of repetition, and a very good use of a full circle ending, bringing it back to the original question after that lengthy and thought-provoking interlude. The beginning sort of starts out with a, "What the hell? No, I'm pretty sure I'm alive," response, but gives the question an entirely new meaning at the end when the exact same question is repeated. I'm going way too deeply into something that you didn't even think about quite that fully, aren't I? >< *thinks to self* >>> have i?
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Post by Blue on Jul 4, 2008 17:21:06 GMT -5
I'm going way too deeply into something that you didn't even think about quite that fully, aren't I? no, actually u hit the mark w/ that one.
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Post by ellolovliii on Jul 5, 2008 18:27:39 GMT -5
after reading everyone's comments, my brain started reelings into unknown territories of questioning. One definately starts to question "have I?", but I always saw death as a place of emotionless sleep...like empty eternal nothingness. the sixth stanza captures that like perfectly; good job on that. but my perspective of death excludes feeling pain...it's like a cheap escape from it, actually. and then with the sixth stanza i imagine this black wave washing over everything, and rereading adn realizing there is pain as well confuses me. care to explain?
...unlesss your talking about the pain that comes before death and how it's smoldered...like suicide or something. could you please explain?
like the full circle ending btw ^^
*hopes i dont get yelled at for questioning the integrity of the poem*
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Post by Noka on Jul 6, 2008 1:37:27 GMT -5
Ali, the poem isn't referring to actual death, like the kind where a person's heart literally stops beating. But it's referring to the feeling of being completely alienated, and so deeply hurt that you in fact feel like you're a walking corpse, dead inside.
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Post by Blue on Jul 6, 2008 9:01:00 GMT -5
Ali, the poem isn't referring to actual death, like the kind where a person's heart literally stops beating. But it's referring to the feeling of being completely alienated, and so deeply hurt that you in fact feel like you're a walking corpse, dead inside. YESS!!! exactly everyone look at nessa's responce. this is it. crosses t's and dotted i's this is it.
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